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Lukin Center for Psychotherapy

Woman sits on couch worrying about the future

How to Stop Your Endless Worrying

Worrying is a part of human nature. Our minds consider the “worst case scenario” from an evolutionary perspective to protect us from danger, but in reality, these worries can be all-consuming, and take away from our ability to live in the moment and enjoy it.

Consider a typical female living in New Jersey. Let’s call her Kathy. She’s 37 years old, and has two kids who are four and nine years old. She has a job, gets home every day around 5, spends time with her family, and prepares for her next day.

On the surface she is happy, and has everything she needs, but she worries constantly. She thinks about her health, and what would happen to her family if she suddenly got sick and passed away. She thinks about her kids going to school in an age where school shootings are the norm. She thinks about how attractive she feels, and often wonders if her husband, who she met at age 22, still finds her beautiful. She worries about money. Will they have enough to send the kids to the colleges they want? Will they be able to retire when they want?

These thoughts feel endless and unstoppable, often keeping her up at night. But there are actionable steps one can take to help manage such worries.

Don’t get caught up in common cognitive distortions.

Cognitive distortions are essentially tricks our brain plays on us that make our thinking unhelpful. For example, Kathy is engaging in mind-reading by assuming her husband may not find her beautiful anymore, and catastrophizing by imagining that she’ll suddenly fall ill and leave her family to fend for themselves. Identifying such cognitive distortions may help her manage them more effectively. Knowing that these are patterns that our brains typically go to automatically may help to control them.

Read the Full Article on Psychology Today

Author

  • Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D.

    Dr. Konstantin Lukin is a psychologist, author, speaker, and researcher specializing in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). He is the Director and Co-Founder of the Lukin Center, northern New Jersey’s premiere evidence-based psychotherapy practice. The Lukin Center emphasizes evidence-based treatments such as emotion-focused therapy for couples, and cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapies for children, adolescents, and adults. Since its inception, the Lukin Center has grown to include testing and assessment as well as medication management services.

    As a therapist, Dr. Lukin focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques – including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema-focused therapy, and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) – to offer a personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, he works with his clients to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth to which they are committed.

    Dr. Lukin has extensive experience in private practice, conducting outpatient therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. He also has extensive clinical and research experience with people of all ages and their families, including those diagnosed as severely and persistently mentally ill, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He has co-led groups for children, adolescents, and adults diagnosed with OCD in an outpatient setting. He is trained and experienced in administering a variety of psychological test batteries including neuropsychological, cognitive, and personality assessments, and he has conducted diagnostic and intake interviews and prepared evaluation reports.

    Dr. Lukin is a graduate of the Honors College at SUNY at Stony Brook, and earned his doctorate from Fairleigh Dickinson University.

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