26 JanThe Growing Trend of Premarital Therapy for Stronger Marriages by Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D. I’ve found my person, and I can’t wait to get married! You might wonder why anyone in this boat would consider couples therapy. Redefining Couples Therapy: A Proactive Approach For many, couples therapy signifies a marriage in trouble or a crisis. This often-stigmatized specialization frequently begins with admissions like, ‘I can’t believe we’re here; I don’t even want anyone to know this is happening’. Why Premarital Therapy? Insights from Couples on the Couch Yet therapists are now seeing a refreshing contrast. Couples in love, facing clear blue sky horizons, are also entering the therapist’s office. Couples of all ages, including previously married couples, are guarding their relationships and walking to the altar (or the beach, or the garden), with more intentionality than previous generations. As adult children of divorced parents who have also witnessed many peers struggle with strained relationships, we’re not only becoming more selective but also taking more precautions. Beyond Traditional Counseling: Tailoring Therapy to Your Relationship Our relationships are central to our lives, and love relationships are a driving force in the meaning, value, and quality of our lives. While as a culture we still love tying the knot, it’s impossible to be unaware of the virtual coin toss that marriage now statistically represents. Ensuring Open Conversations: The Role of Premarital Therapy Happy couples increasingly enter our office and sit on the couch, seeking a thoughtful process before their big day. Without a specific problem, these couples recognize the importance of ‘all the big conversations’ but may be unsure where to begin, or find it uncomfortable to initiate critical topics like finances, family, and sexual expectations, even with their soul mate. Occasionally, there are specific concerns one partner feels uneasy about raising, worried these might get overshadowed by extended family involvement. Premarital therapy guarantees these essential conversations take place in a fun and exploratory manner. This is short term therapy typically done in 1-3 sessions. We’ll hit the ground running with a questionnaire you’ll be asked to complete before we meet to ensure our time is well spent and targets your priorities. Embracing Diversity in Relationships: Our Inclusive Approach We cater to both secular and non-secular couples, paying attention to cultural diversity and sexual orientations across all demographics. Premarital therapy is for anyone who is in love and seeking health for one of the most impactful relationships in their lives. “You can have the same relationship with a thousand people or you can have a thousand different relationships with a single person. It’s up to you to decide.” -Esther Perel Author Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D. Dr. Konstantin Lukin is a psychologist, author, speaker, and researcher specializing in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). He is the Director and Co-Founder of the Lukin Center, northern New Jersey’s premiere evidence-based psychotherapy practice. The Lukin Center emphasizes evidence-based treatments such as emotion-focused therapy for couples, and cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapies for children, adolescents, and adults. Since its inception, the Lukin Center has grown to include testing and assessment as well as medication management services. As a therapist, Dr. Lukin focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques – including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema-focused therapy, and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) – to offer a personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, he works with his clients to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth to which they are committed. Dr. Lukin has extensive experience in private practice, conducting outpatient therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. He also has extensive clinical and research experience with people of all ages and their families, including those diagnosed as severely and persistently mentally ill, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He has co-led groups for children, adolescents, and adults diagnosed with OCD in an outpatient setting. He is trained and experienced in administering a variety of psychological test batteries including neuropsychological, cognitive, and personality assessments, and he has conducted diagnostic and intake interviews and prepared evaluation reports. Dr. Lukin is a graduate of the Honors College at SUNY at Stony Brook, and earned his doctorate from Fairleigh Dickinson University.
