2 MayThe 5 Most Common Parenting Mistakes (And How To Improve) by Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D. No one ever said that parenting is easy. And frankly, if anyone has, they probably didn’t have kids. Every parent-child dynamic is different, and every kid needs different things from their parents. But there are some things common to the developmental stage of adolescence, and subsequent parental reactions, that should be very carefully navigated. Here are five common parenting mistakes, and how to stop making them today. 1. Helicoptering During adolescence, children slowly become more and more independent from their families—and this is developmentally a positive thing. Adolescents might want to spend more time with their friends, rather than their parents, in a variety of contexts from text messaging, hanging out on the weekends outside of the home, and even having get-togethers with larger groups of friends. It’s normal to feel somewhat anxious about what your kid is doing when you aren’t there watching, but getting so worried about this, and refusing to let them do things alone or without your opinion can have a negative impact on the child. “Helicopter parenting” refers to just this; in this scenario, a parent may want to be involved in every second of their child lives, primarily to make sure they are safe. In doing this, a parent can lead their child to believe that they themselves are incapable of doing things alone, and learn by example that the world is a scary place that they cannot navigate. Many kids develop anxiety as a result of this phenomena. So in sum, let your kids make their own mistakes, within reason, and explore life on their own. Start Today Tip: Ask yourself if this resonates with you. Be mindful of your own anxieties. Are you actually parenting for the benefit of your child or are you to doing it to mitigate your own anxiety? Read the Full Article on Psychology Today Author Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D. Dr. Konstantin Lukin is a psychologist, author, speaker, and researcher specializing in men’s issues, couple’s counseling, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). He is the Director and Co-Founder of the Lukin Center, northern New Jersey’s premiere evidence-based psychotherapy practice. The Lukin Center emphasizes evidence-based treatments such as emotion-focused therapy for couples, and cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapies for children, adolescents, and adults. Since its inception, the Lukin Center has grown to include testing and assessment as well as medication management services. As a therapist, Dr. Lukin focuses on providing support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. He integrates complementary modalities and techniques – including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema-focused therapy, and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) – to offer a personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, he works with his clients to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth to which they are committed. Dr. Lukin has extensive experience in private practice, conducting outpatient therapy with children, adolescents, and adults. He also has extensive clinical and research experience with people of all ages and their families, including those diagnosed as severely and persistently mentally ill, in both inpatient and outpatient settings. He has co-led groups for children, adolescents, and adults diagnosed with OCD in an outpatient setting. He is trained and experienced in administering a variety of psychological test batteries including neuropsychological, cognitive, and personality assessments, and he has conducted diagnostic and intake interviews and prepared evaluation reports. Dr. Lukin is a graduate of the Honors College at SUNY at Stony Brook, and earned his doctorate from Fairleigh Dickinson University.
